Ruminations: In conversation with Kailey Tedesco, author of Motherdevil
"The Jersey Devil legend was not legend to me as a child, but a complete truth."
My Substack began as a way to reject the literary pathways we’re taught to take.: Everything must be polished. Everything must be submitted to a literary journal. Everything must have a why. But that doesn’t feel sincere to me in the way it used to. These days, I am called confess my strangest and most compulsive thoughts and nostalgias and pinings. But I also wanted to share other voices, especially as my magazine, Luna Luna, remains on hiatus.
So begins the author interview series I’ve titled Ruminations—which explores the literary things we obsess on, the barriers we face as creatives, and a hint of the magical. We’ll begin today with Kailey Tedesco, who is a friend, who I’ve worked with at Luna Luna, and who I’m proud to call my press sibling at White Stag.
Kailey’s work offers the lyrical and the mystical. Her poems are superbly incantatory and lush. I am always interested in the intersection between the Otherworld and our physical realities—and hers is a poetry that explores that threshold: motherhood and mental illness are woven alongside the lore of the woods—and the strangeness of the Jersey Devil.
I grew up in New Jersey and spent long, hot summer days at my grandparents’ house in Egg Harbor. At one point, they lived on the edge of the Pine Barrens, the dark, eerie, and dense expanse that is home to many legends, and whose strange call somehow still lives within me. I urge you to read about these legends—and to order Kailey’s book MOTHERDEVIL.
Tell us all about your newest book, MOTHERDEVIL (White Stag Publishing). I adore your work and want to hear all about what inspired this collection.
Kailey Tedesco: MOTHERDEVIL is my most recent full-length poetry collection. I grew up in Burlington County, NJ—right in the heart of the Pine Barrens. The Jersey Devil legend was not legend to me as a child, but a complete truth. I referenced it constantly and it is one of those stories that would shape my identity my whole entire life long. I've wanted to write about it for years and years and years. And I tried! No matter how much I researched its origins or ruminated on its implications, I couldn't find an access point that felt right.
That changed immediately after I found out I was pregnant. I was struggling with pretty severe antepartum anxiety and I was feeling so much shame around that. I wrote a poem from the POV of Mrs. Leeds—the Jersey Devil's mother—and it was, in every way, a liberation. It gave me the permission I needed to more openly explore the anxiety and shame I was feeling during my pregnancy. I wrote more and more from her POV, all through my pregnancy and well into my postpartum period. I'm a big fan of persona poetry, but this experience allowed me to explore, with compassion, all of the fear and confusion that comes with parenthood.
Through Mrs. Leeds, I could say what I thought I wasn't supposed to say. It was an exercise in complete understanding and empathy—with Mrs. Leeds and also with myself. From this, I gained support and learned how to better offer it. It was, as a whole, one of the most powerful writing experiences of my life.
What are you obsessed with right now—literary or otherwise? What is influencing, inspiring, or driving you to create, to think, to feel?
Kailey Tedesco: Last year, I was lucky to get the opportunity to teach a course on the discourse surrounding horror cinema to college freshmen. I've always loved horror films, but getting to teach them has been a whole new level of inspiration. I love watching and unpacking Texas Chainsaw Massacre at 9:30ish in the morning with a group of brilliant and optimistic students. It's truly the best.
I'm also obsessed with the taboo as it's communicated through the Gothic, twee-horror as a mini-movement, the abject and its limitations, Spiritualism (always and forever), and all the world's kitschiest destinations (love hotels, weird theme parks, waterbed stores hanging on for dear life, etc. etc.)
You can summon the spirit of your work in three objects. What are they?
Kailey Tedesco: I think every collection would be slightly different, but MOTHERDEVIL would be:
A pine needle (of course)
a Frozen Charlotte dol
a death's head gravestone.
I am always interested in why writers show up to themselves and the world around us. How does your writing intersect with, critique, or reflect on current realities and the cultural landscape? Are you writing to address a bigger issue? Are you writing as a form of resistance? Are you writing to simply bring beauty back to the world? Are you bringing awareness to something? Or, are you writing to get through something?
Kailey Tedesco: I have pure-OCD, GAD, and PMDD—I am in a constantly going through it to varying degrees, haha. Writing has always been a way for me to work through and negotiate unwanted intrusive thoughts. I love horror cinema for similar reasons. Through these fictions, I can engage with the unwanted in ways that feel safe and empowering.
Talk to me about your thoughts on the challenges of the writing life—what do you think are the barriers to your craft or to a fulfilling literary life in general? Are there experiences you've had that make writing nearly impossible? How are you working through them?
Kailey Tedesco: Oof. I think the barriers, unfortunately, multiply as I get older. Or perhaps they are just multiplied in this particular phase of my life. I feel that things like this--this interview, our conversations, conversing with and supporting other writers--are the ways through it. I wish I had better answers, but when it comes to creating and publishing, I've learned to prioritize community above all else. The rest is something I'm still working to figure out.
What are 3 books or authors you'd recommend or that you’re loving right now?
Kailey Tedesco: Sick Houses by Leila Taylor, Model Home by Rivers Soloman, The Lamb by Lucy Rose, Childgrave by Ken Greenhall, Victorian Psycho by Virginia Feito, and Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix are all very recent faves. Also, not a book, but I'm entirely invested in the Hell House LLC movies these days. I can't wait for the new theatrical release!
What is your astrological sun sign (and how do you think this shows up in your work?)
Kailey Tedesco: Aries! I've learned to embrace and make space for anger in my work in the past few years. This has to be the Aries showing up more explicitly than it ever has in the past.